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The pre-holiday Apple event was only part of a much larger drama that’s been played out many times before.
First came the rumors. Then came leaks with substance. Then came the presentation — less surprising because of the leaks — which disappointed Wall Street and dropped the AAPL stock price. Then came a frenzy of articles pro and con, followed by a day-after bump in AAPL stock when Wall Street (momentarily) came to its senses.
What else could there possibly be to talk about? I’m sure we can think of something…
Adjective Overload
A frequent complaint of Apple event critics is the excessive use of hyperbole. Hard to argue this. Then again, when one unveils brand-new products, hyper-adjectives are just too tempting for mortal men. That’s how we humans show enthusiasm.
And guess what. Steve Jobs was famous for using exactly the same words — in the same amazing, incredible, magical quantity. The difference? Today’s Apple presenters are not Steve Jobs. Consciously or subconsciously, it’s hard to avoid the comparison.
Steve had a natural style, the legitimacy of being a founder, and a world-class distortion field. A good actor could read his scripts word for word, and they wouldn’t have the same effect. No getting around it, the master’s hand is missed.
It’s complicated
I won’t complain about Jeff Williams’ Apple Watch presentation (though he wasn’t exactly Mr. Excitement). Instead, I’d like to dwell on one of the words he used in describing new Watch features: complications.
This word has been part of the Apple Watch vocabulary from the start. Apple didn’t invent it — the watch industry has long referred to any information that appears in addition to the clock face (such as the date) as a complication. Clearly, complications are a hugely important thing in Apple Watch.
However, I continue to wonder why Apple embraced this word, given that it has painstakingly built a reputation on making things easy to use. The watch industry might use the word, but Apple hasn’t signed a treaty to behave like other watch makers. In fact, it set out to be something entirely different.
The word complication just sounds antithetical to everything Apple stands for. I get a little chill every time I hear it.
Headlines by formula
iPad Pro was introduce as “the biggest news in iPad since iPad.” A perfectly likable line — even if it seems to have been written by the author of “If it isn’t an iPhone, it isn’t an iPhone.”
Apple Pencil
Apple chose the word pencil over pen, yet the presentation included references to choosing different inks and brush strokes. Not complaining, mind you. It’s still a cool name.
More fun was watching the day-after critics looking foolish en masse, playing back the fact that Steve Jobs had nastily shut down any thought of using a stylus. Somehow it didn’t register that he was talking about the very first iPhone, and how awkward it would be with a stylus. That remains true. A pro tool designed for illustration and retouching is a very different animal.
Videos by formula
Apple’s video style has been satirized for years — mostly in unfunny ways, and occasionally in hilarious ways. The reason, of course, is that Apple has churned out videos in precisely the same style for at least a decade. Jony Ive is distinctively articulate, but now even his voice sounds a bit like satire. What a fun thing it would be to see something different.
Enough already
Apple clings to the word iSight in describing the camera in iPhone and other products — for no apparent reason. When I refer to the iPhone camera in conversation, I use the word camera. I know that’s shocking, but I have a feeling I’m not alone. In fact, I’ve never, ever heard anyone refer to it as an iSight camera. On a beautifully simple device, that name seems like … a complication.
Apple TV
One new speaker I liked was Jen Folse from the Apple TV team. She was likable and added some sorely needed youthful enthusiasm.
I also liked the re-imagined Apple TV. Juicing it up with power, a real OS and its own App Store turns it into a serious platform. Others may have tried similar things, but they don’t have the ecosystem and audience that Apple commands. I look forward to seeing what developers and content providers do with it.
Most advanced iPhones ever
If I had the time or energy, I’d revisit every iPhone intro (and Mac intros as well) to find out how many times the new version is introduced in exactly this way. If the newest iPhone ever wasn’t the most advanced iPhone ever, we would truly be entering an age of darkness where all hope is lost.
Least advanced naming ever
Through its iPhone naming, Apple has now successfully taught the world to believe that the real advances happen only every other year. The S-years are the off-years, with only minor improvements offered.
We all know this does not reflect the truth. Siri, for example, arrived in the 4S, and is arguably one of the most important new features in iPhone history. In other years, S-models introduced Touch ID and 64-bit processing, both of which were huge.
I’ve never understood Apple’s desire to shoot itself in the foot this way. Leading up to this event, many articles reminded readers to temper their expectations due to the fact that this is an S-year. Unintentionally, through its naming, Apple has actually trained customers and journalists to latch onto this perception.
Further, “S” is one of the alphabet’s softest, most lisp-inducing letters. It makes a product name more difficult to pronounce. This year, it gets worse. “iPhone 6S Plus” has three s-sounds in a row. Not ideal.
That’s a pretty flimsy argument, Ken. Especially when S-year iPhone sales are through the roof. Embrace the S! Well, no argument here about iPhone sales. But I’ve never heard a marketer refuse an opportunity to make a great thing even greater. I don’t understand what positive effect Apple achieves by going the S-route — but the negatives are there for all to see.
The marketing theme for the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus — The only thing that’s changed is everything — seems designed to counter the popular perception that S-years are off-years. John Gruber likes the new commercial and theme line, saying: “It head-on addresses the knee-jerk criticism that the 6S/Plus look like last year’s 6/Plus by showing people using all the new features, all of which are pretty cool.”
Well … Apple wouldn’t have to address the knee-jerk criticism if it didn’t create this “off-year” perception with its choice of names. In this case, it is certainly reaping what it has sown.
Here’s to next year’s iPhone 7 —and hopefully, the iPhone 8 that will follow.